How do you prepare your toddler for newborn twins?
My first son was still in diapers when I brought home two more very little people. He was the center of everyones world for 2 whole years, and then he wasn’t going to be the center of everyones world anymore. How was I going to prepare him for the twins?
I wanted to make sure that my son didn’t get pushed to the side because mommy and daddy were too busy with the new babies.
I read what other twins moms did. And here are some of the things I used that were suggested, to prepare my toddler for the arrival of his twin brother and sister! He has turned into the best big brother, who is caring, loving and so helpful when it comes to his little brother and sister.
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Make your toddler part of the planning when preparing them for twins
As my belly was growing my son would ask me what was going on and when they were coming. He was excited, but not really aware it meant less time paying attention to him. We decided to get him his own twins. Since we were having a boy and a girl, we got him one boy and one girl twin. This way mommy could show him how to help her take care of them. And he had his own. He named them (coincidentally the same names as his brother and sister)!
Another thing we let him do was paint their room. He picked the color and helped us paint. He picked out the sheets for his sister crib and bought them each a teddy to put on their bed. it made him feel included, and like a real big brother!
Ways to make your toddler part of the planning:
- Take them to the store to help pick out items for the babies.
- Have them help pick out the twins names.
- Get them their own twin babies just like you.
- Read them books about being a big sibling of twins.
Here are some books that you toddler will love to read over and over that will help prepare them for the twins:
The New Baby by Mercer Mayer
I am a Big Brother by Caroline Jane Church
Block out some time without the twins
Start it before the babies come – and make sure it continues after the babies are here. Make sure you have a special alone time with your toddler. It can be as simple as eating breakfast together, or reading a book. The possibilities are endless. For me I colored and played puzzles. I took the opportunity to discuss him being a big brother and how great he was going to be.
According to the Washington Post, it is important to block out some time, even if it’s just 15 minutes, so your older child feels connected to you. After the babies came, we took walks together with the twins, but he got to chose the direction we went in. I left him pick out their clothes, and he helped mommy feed them. So even though the twins were there, he got to make a lot of the choices and I made it about him.
Best advice I ever got was to take help when people offer. I took it as an opportunity for me to spend time with my toddler. While someone else was holding the twins, mommy can get down on the floor and play his favorite car race. You can take him/ her to the store, the park, or even outside to ride their scooter or play with chalk. Whatever it is that you decide to do, the time you allowed for them, is not interrupted by the babies needs (because someone else is there to help)!
Read more advice from moms of twins themselves
Try to keep to normalcy for your toddler
Keeping a routine that is somewhat similar to the one your singleton already had, will ease his anxieties and help him to feel comfortable and familiar. Bringing twins into the home, can get chaotic and it’s easy to get lost in the everyday struggles of being a mom of newborns. I tried to keep my routine as close to the one we already had. Breakfast time was the same and playtime with mommy was the same (when babies would sleep mommy would play). We always went for a walk in the morning after a snack and before nap time. This was something that he was already used to doing, so I made an enormous effort to keep it. Try to keep as much normalcy for them as possible.
Get your toddler a big sibling of twins gift
Gifting your toddler with presents and treats does matter when becoming a big brother or sister. Making the gift personal and making a big deal about it, will help to ease this new change. When I went into the hospital to have my twins and my son came to visit, we gave him a big brother gift- to make him feel important and special. We gave him a little camera so he can take pictures of the memories.
When others come to visit and bring your twins something, have something little on hand to gift to your toddler as well. They may not understand and think it is unfair that they aren’t getting anything and the babies keep getting things. I was fortunate enough, that most of the people who came to visit brought my son something too. I did have some little things on hand just in case. When I say little I mean like play dough, a spinner, a ball.
Here are some gift ideas that you can give your toddler for being a big sister or brother:
- a sentimental teddy bear
- a big brother or big sister shirt
- a kids friendly camera
- personalized big brother/big sister book
- personalized big brother truck
- personalized big sister bracelet
Ask other moms for advice about preparing your toddler for twins
Finding groups of other moms that have multiples and older siblings, is really a great life line to have. You can get advice from others that have been there successfully and can share their experiences with you. I myself belong to many twin mom groups, and have really received some great advice.
Here are some facebook groups to consider joining:
Twin’s Mom support group
Twin Mommies Unite!!!
Twin Mama support group
Twin Mamas
Here are some mommy twin blogs to consider following:
Twocametrue.com
I'm 40 years old and a mom of 2 three year olds and a first grader. I am also a Special education teacher. My passion has always been to help people, which is why I started this blog.