Having a baby is exciting- but also super scary. Our thoughts are filled with all types of fears, especially in the first few weeks they are home. We are constantly thinking and worrying about our new babies. “What if they stop breathing?” “What if the swaddle covers their face and I don’t see it?” “What if their belly hurts?” “How will I know?” “Where should they sleep?” “Where should I sleep?” The first weeks they are home we are tired, hormonal and if you had a c section, in a lot of pain. And on top of that- you have 2 babies to worry about – double the worries right?
Here are a few tips to help you survive coming home with 2 brand new little people.
Tip 1: Sleep when they sleep
This advice was something I always questioned when I had my first son. There was just so many things that I felt I should be doing while the baby was sleeping. However, after exhaustion sets in I soon realized that I needed as much rest as they did. Remember your body just had 2 babies, it needs rest. We’re talking about the first 6 weeks. After that you’ll have more energy- (not much) but your body will be much more healed and you will have more energy. So, I learned to sleep during the day (when they sleep), because they are going to be up all hours of the night. To survive the day, I needed to sleep too. Sleep can make you feel like a new person. It’s okay if there’s dishes in the sink, sleep anyway. It’s okay if the bed isn’t made, sleep anyway. It’s okay if there’s laundry to do, sleep anyway. If you are tired sleep, your body needs to rest. So it’s okay to sleep the first few weeks they are home. Give yourself permission.
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Tip 2: Ask for help
People are not always going to offer help, but they will during your first six weeks home. So, when people as if you need anything, or if they can help you in anyway, TAKE IT! Look around- is there food in the fridge? Do you need diapers? Wipes? Coffee perhaps? Or maybe you just need some company. Maybe you need some toilet paper, or maybe a shower. What do you need to survive that day that will help make it a little less stressful? When someone offers help in any way, for your own sanity, take it. They really want to help, I promise! If someone wants to stop by say, “Sure.” Use it as an opportunity to jump in the shower when they get there. If they are going to the store and ask you if you need anything, tell them something you need, ANYTHING (diapers, formula, coffee, milk, etc…) We may think we need nothing, but there is always something you will need with 2 brand new twins!
Tip 3: It’s okay to not be okay
The number one thing I learned from being a mom of multiples is that it is very over whelming and you can’t do it all. THAT’S OKAY! You can cry, it helps! One time both my twins were crying and nothing I did helped stop them. So I just sat down, and I started to cry too. Give yourself a break, you’re still recovering from having twins, and they are still so small. It’s okay to feel tired, it’s okay to not want to cook. They’re not even 6 weeks old yet! Best advice I ever got was from my mom (also a mother of multiples). I called her for like the fifth day in a row. Both of the twins were crying, my oldest was having a tantrum and all I wanted was some dinner. I wanted her to come and help me. She said, ” Laura, if no-one is there to help you, it’s okay not to cook. Go order some Chinese.” I know it may sound silly, but I needed permission to not be perfect, to be a mess. So here is your permission- It’s okay!
Tip 4: Look For Small Wins
Make a list of the things you need to get done. You may think there are a lot, but pick just 4 or 5 top things that you keep putting off. Chose one item from your list each day. Decide that you must get it done that day, and if that is the only thing you get done that’s okay! It’s a small win and one thing to check off your list. Do you need to do a load of laundry today? Maybe you want to attempt to take your twins for a walk. Maybe you want to read a book or even better, get your nails done. Make this a habit! It will feel great to accomplish this small win. And you will feel like you are surviving being a mom of twins! Maybe you need to make a phone call, or vacuum, dishes, laundry. Whatever it is that you really want to accomplish- write them down. Pick at least one a day and no matter what- you MUST do it! Go ahead- WIN!
Tip 5: Prepare for the day the night before
I am not a fan of food prepping, but the best advice I ever got to survive 2 babies, was to get everything ready the night before. If you are breast feeding (good for you by the way), the food prep isn’t really yet. However, if you have other children, it will be helpful, to get prepped for anything they may need. Make your meals the night before o you can just pop them in the microwave. Boil some eggs, make a fruit salad or some fresh pancakes and freeze them. Anything that can save you time during the day. If you are bottle feeding, make pitchers of formula that you can easily just pour into their bottle. Or have their bottles pre made with the water so you can just pour in water and shake. They also have pre-made formula you can just open and pour, but these could get expensive. A stackable mini- bottle is a time saver, and easy to use!
Conclusion
Another way to prepare for the night before, is to get your clothes laid out, and any diaper bag (try this diaper bag for twins), items you may need for the next day. Have clothes and diapers easily available so you are not running around looking for them when you need them. Personally, I liked to keep a basket filled with the twins clothes downstairs, so I did not have to keep running up the stairs every time they needed something (and with twins you are changing clothes quit often). Another little tip my sister -in- law suggested, (who also has twins) is to prep your bottles the night before. This way during a night feeding, the bottles are all ready to go. I’ve also spoke to many other moms of multiplies who invested in a fridge for their room to help with night feedings. I used a cooler that I had bought from Amazon, with some ice and left it in my sink and that seemed to do the trick. Whatever works best to make these transitions as smooth as possible!
Good luck mommies!
Conclusion
Surviving your first six weeks with your twins is not going to be easy for an overtired, overwhelmed, hormonal mama. But there are some things that you can do to help make its through! Sleeping when you need to, asking others to help you, giving yourself permission to fall apart, making checklists and prepping the night before are some of the things that will benefit your sanity as a mom to new twins. Twins are a lot, and they can be overwhelming especially when you first get home from the hospital. These are just some tips that helped me survive it! You can do this mommies!
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I'm 40 years old and a mom of 2 three year olds and a first grader. I am also a Special education teacher. My passion has always been to help people, which is why I started this blog.
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