Dear Clubfoot Mamma,
I’m writing this to you in hopes that you will find some kind of comfort in this letter.
BECAUSE…….
Being a clubfoot mama is hard. Seeing your little one going through discomfort and pain is not something any mom ever wants to see. Sometimes you’ll cry, and you’ll have plenty of nights with zero sleep. But remember, it won’t always be like this. It does get better.
It will come to an end. All the tears will stop – remember that. There is an end. One day the casts will come off and the bar and boot will be locked away.
But until then….
You will always question your decision and the choices you make for your baby.
“Do we have to do it when they are so young?” “They seem okay, can’t we just wait and see?” “What if he grows out of it?” These questions among many others will fill your daily thoughts. After all we just want to make sure we are making the right decisions.
Hey clubfoot mama, I see you. I am you.
It will be lonely sometimes. No-one will understand your clubfoot language. You will have a different kind of night wake ups. From the discomfort of casts or a blister from the boots. When all your friends compare milestones, you compare boot size and how many hours they have to wear there BNB. Yes there are many kinds of boot and bar wear.
Boot and Bar Wear
23 hour wear. This comes right after the casts are removed and is usually worn for about three months. Usually the bar is removed only for changing and bathing.
Nap and night time wear- In this this phase they wear their boots and bar for nap time and naps only. They are usually crawling and moving and at this stage.
Hey Mama.
No-one will understand your clubfoot language and phrases.
You will have to explain many times about BNB, The Ponsetti Method, and about Matthew Dobbs and his new improved bar. You will also have to explain what exactly clubfoot is, and why it happened to your little guy.
Read more about Clubfoot Essentials here.
Find comfort in the knowledge that other parents have. They say it takes a village- so find your village. That village may be Facebook groups, or support groups you may have around where you live. Whatever it is- use it to keep you and to support you and your little guys struggles.
Support Groups
Here are some facebook groups I myself have found extremely helpful and supportive.
Become Obsessed With Clubfoot Knowledge
From the very second you hear the words, “Your baby has clubfoot”, start doing your research. Become obsessed. Learn every single thing that you can, so you are prepared for everything that could go wrong, or everything that could go right.
Most importantly, find a fantastic doctor. Ask the facebook groups for recommendations, depending on where you live they will have positives and negative experiences to share. Make sure the doctor you find specializes in clubfoot. The specific kind of clubfoot your child has, and that they are experienced and well versed in the process.
If your child has a severe case of club foot you want an experienced doctor who knows what they are doing, and has had success with others like your own child. Travel if you must- and get the best care from an expert on club foot. I know insurance may be a factor, but there are agencies and people willing to help pay for it.
Find the people who understand, who are compassionate, and most importantly people who have been though it and can support you. It is a crazy rollercoaster of emotions- but I know you can do it!
Hey Clubfoot mama, I see you. I am you.
No matter how hard it gets, remember it will get better. Your baby will have perfect feet, and it will end. When the nights are hard, from lack of sleep, remember you are not alone even though you may feel it.
My son recently had tendon transfer surgery. And the 6 weeks after was the worst 6 week of his little life. It broke my heart he thought there was nothing I can do to help him, even though I tried. Turning to the moms who have been there was really supportive and helpful and really got me through it. They always had some suggestion of things they have tried to relieve the pain, itchiness and horrible discomfort they feel.
You will get through this!
From,
A Clubfoot Mama
Check out other posts on my blog that might support your journey!
I'm 40 years old and a mom of 2 three year olds and a first grader. I am also a Special education teacher. My passion has always been to help people, which is why I started this blog.